dreams are expensive?

recently, i made a huge decision of turning my life around.
i have chosen the path of changing my career from nursing to advertising. i applied online, and the college that offers the program  gave me an offer, and i accepted it.
before i even click that “accept” button on the screen.. i contemplated for months.
i knew in my heart.. and in my mind.. that it is possible for me to fail and this new career might not even work for me. i knew that i would face another student loan, stress and sleepless nights.
there were alot of nasty thoughts in my head.. the “what if’s” started to flood my brain out..
i havent even started yet and im already thinking of failing.
some people just dont get it.
i would often hear questions like..  “what if you dont get a job?” or..
” what exactly are you going to be if you take that program?”,
“what are your jobs gunna be like?
how should i feel about those questions? i dont know, im not sure how i should take it.
all i know is… i took a big risk, and i already feel disappointed.

i guess when you really want something soo bad, it will definitely scare the shit out of you.

 maybe im just being overly sensitive about the topic but i think that they are unaware of the fact that i already asked myself those same questions.
its terrifying, i cant even tell if they are trying to talk me out of it, or they were just trying to make me realize that it is a stupid decision to make and that i should just stick with what i already have.

it bothers me..

i feel so little, and often, the questions that usually comes out of their mouth are very discouraging. i cant help but worry.

maybe they think i am being unrealistic here.. 

sometimes, i like to believe them.

but that’s why its called dreams.. you need to take the necessary actions to make it happen. if everything falls according to plan, then good for you.. if not..  then move on and find something else.

of course, there’s a catch.. it wasnt always easy for us to find our calling.  dreams can be very expensive. you dont only pay with your hard earned cash to get it, it will even ask for your blood, time and sweat.
if i fail, then at least i know where my true limits lies.. no bullshit. .

maybe, to them, im just a young adult making a bad decision by wasting time, effort  and money for school.
it doesnt mean that im a failure if i am not a nurse who gets to  earns so much money in a year.

i see so many people who aren’t nurses or doctors but are are still happy with what they do.. and i want that kind of happiness.

it doesnt mean that im unsuccessful if i choose a different career..

they could be right. THEY ARE RIGHT. i agree.

but i still want to see for myself. i still want to keep my options open.

i cant just settle for something because it is what going to make me rich. they may not get where im coming from but i honestly dont care.

i take that back, i do care.. i care alot. but if i dont do this now.. i’d be living a life full of regrets and ” what if’s”.

i know in my heart, that even though it is going to be a long road ahead of me,  i, at least, have to try.

so please, dont fuck with me. thank you.

i know, its important to have a secured job and a sustainable lifestyle. i want that too. who doesnt anyways?

but im young.. i think im allowed to make mistakes, and for me, its more important that you are genuinely happy too.


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